Darkness. Complete total darkness. That's all I see. Despite the fact that it was sunny outside and light was illuminating my room, all I could see was darkness. I'm a marriage counselor and I was on vacation. How hypocritical and ironic is it that I save marriages but I couldn't save my own? I was once married to my childhood sweetheart Jonathon who's a pharmacist. We were married for 6 years. But I committed the ultimate betrayal. I cheated on him. While I was married to Jonathon, I had to work for a matchmaker. I ran into an old friend of mine from high school named Richard who had become a billionaire. We began to work together and while working with him, I began to notice things in him I didn't see in Jonathon. With Richard, I felt....alive and wanted. Call it....temptation. Soon enough, I began to have an affair with Richard and 6 months later, I moved in with him, leaving Jonathon. I really broke his heart. I feel so terrible for doing that. Richard wasn't the man I once knew from high school. In all the years we didn't hear from each other, he had become a drug addict and alcoholic. He also began to abuse me. One night Richard took things too far. He tried to kill me. Despite my devastating injuries, I managed to escape to my old home and passed out on the front porch. Jonathon and my mother found me and I was quickly taken to the hospital. It was there that I was told that I have HIV. You can probably guess who I got it from. Although Jonathon did indeed still care about me, I had broken his heart to the point where it was almost impossible to repair so he divorced me. I don't blame him. Now he's married to another woman and has a daughter. I go to his pharmacy for medicine. I just don't see the point in living anymore. Hell I have HIV so I'm gonna die anyways right? I feel like the scum of the fucking Earth. As far as I'm concerned, I don't deserve to live. I feel nothing now but pain and regret. I reached over onto my nightstand and picked up my bottle of prescription pills which was almost half empty. I only see one way to stop this pain. After putting all of the pills into my mouth, I gulped them down with a bottle of water. As I laid on my bed, I could feel the pills taking effect. I began to reminisce on my former life with Jonathon. Why did I fall victim to temptation? Why couldn't I just resist it? Why didn't I listen to my mother? So many questions that I know can never be answered. The end is coming. I could feel it. I'm happy that Jonathon has a new life. I hope he continues to succeed. With that thought, I closed my eyes and fell into a deep, permanent sleep. My repentance has finally been done.
